I'm Getting Better at Chop Sticks

The other day I was walking down the street by my house when I passed this sweet old lady. She was using an umbrella as a cane and looked like she was out for a leisurely stroll. We made eye contact and smiled at each other, a sincere smile of genuine human connection. I'll never forget the aura of calmness that seemed to follow her.

Ten seconds later she zoomed by and almost clipped me on her scooter. That sweet old maniac.

I spent the last week visiting my school and doing prep work for the upcoming week. I hit my head on three different doorways because Taiwanese architects are sadists. During my quest to give myself a concussion I got to meet my future students and they are all awesome! Unbeknownst to me, their teacher got them really pumped up to meet me so as soon as I walked into their classroom I was greeted with cries of "Teacher Eli!" Hearing that many kids shout your name in excitement gives you a feeling that you'll never get tired of. And I know this sounds tacky but I feel like I'll learn just as much from the students as they'll learn from me. For instance, I already learned that Teacher Eli is a giant, he is super strong, and he is very hairy. This is followed by kids pulling on your arm and leg hair in awe. It feels good to be a role model in that aspect. On a side note, JP if you ever decide to bring that beard of yours for a visit to Taiwan I think the students would view you as some sort of hairy deity.

The other day I went with a few of the other new teachers to explore a nearby mall and was able to find some decorations for my desk.

A must have for any teacher.

 

X: It's for Xmas. Also, here's a goat.

 Someday Simba, all this will be yours. Everything the light touches...

Just a fair warning about this next picture; if you happen to be someone with a strong sense of nationalism or think that Toby Keith is some sort of spokesman for the greatness of everything American I hate to burst your bubble but...

Ore-oh snap!

Yeah, I know. I just blew your mind with a sandwich cookie. The world can be a dark scary place but I'm the guy with a flashlight, so just stick with me.

So all of us new teachers had been staying in a hotel during the first week we were here and were supposed to move into our new places on Saturday morning. However, due to a mix-up of dates we had to leave school in the middle of the day on Friday to rush back, grab our bags, and throw them into our new houses. Luckily the school provided us with a free ride to get our things. I felt a bit like a celebrity in a movie.

 Pee Wee's Playhouse, to be exact.

 Nina approves of stylish rhino, duck, and elephant seat covers.

 Now whenever you move to a new country you may experience a bout with culture shock. This is where you get to a point of being so overwhelmed with the unfamiliarity of things that you start to become very resentful and emotionally distraught. So it's important to develop a group of friends and even some hobbies as ways of coping with culture shock. I know there are a few people who are thinking, "No way! It's all so new and fascinating! I love everything and nothing will ever change that!" And really, that's great! Maybe you're right. After all, who am I to cold-cock your dreams of bliss and fairy tales with happy endings?

 I'm reality and I'm calling you out.

Now that's not to say that you shouldn't visit new places just because you're wary of your bladder control/leg strength. In almost any country you'll find something that reminds you a bit of home. Taiwan is no exception, and it doesn't take much effort to find familiar places like 7-11, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, 7-11, Baskin Robbins, 7-11, KFC, 7-11, and 7-11.

Yesterday I went with a group of teachers to a Hash House Harriers event. Calm down, it's not what it sounds like. It's more like a club that gets together every Saturday and drives out to a small town in the countryside and runs some trails. The catch is that these aren't paved walkways with easy to read signs. Instead, a group of 2 or 3 people decide on a path before hand and then leave everyone little clues on where to go by leaving behind flour, shredded paper, or a chalk mark. Occasionally you come upon a circle with a dot in the middle. This means "haha screw you, the next clue is hidden somewhere in a hundred meter radius of here." Basically, it's the tale of Hansel and Gretel on steroids.You end up running through the jungle, sliding down steep inclines in bamboo forests, crawling over rocky streams, and sweating every ounce of fluid out of your body. You do this typically for 6-8 kilometers, but sometimes they're longer. There's a beer checkpoint about 2/3 of the way trough though, so at least someone's looking out for you. After finishing the trail they had a pig roast and shot off fireworks for Canada Day/4th of July. It was definitely something I have to do again.

Near my house is a local university that I can in no way pronounce so we'll just call it KU Taiwan. I went exploring KU Taiwan the other day and they do their campus a little differently than your traditional American college.

Wood Mantis preys on your nightmares...

And what campus is complete without a military jet randomly plopped in between classes?

Once you're a tenured professor you get your own parking space.

Even though Taiwan is completely different from anywhere I've ever lived before, I feel like this is going to be a great year. I've already met some awesome people and am really looking forward to whatever comes next. Every day's a new adventure and I absolutely love it. And my Mandarin is continually improving!

I believe it says, "I am a sign."